Punk Rock Cycling's Shannon Eats Whole Pizza; Stays Skinny

Wed April 08 2009
Posted Apr 8, 2009
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Ames, Iowa Iowa based women's cycling team Punk Rock Cycling began collaborative work this week with the Department of Internal Digestion at Iowa State University in Ames, IA. The university study was aimed to discover unique characteristics of an athlete's digestive patterns while consuming large quantities of food. For the procedure Punk Rock Cycling's Keely Shannon was asked to eat an enormous pizza. The pizza was a special order item from Papa John's Pizza and contained a wide assortment of delicious ingredients including pepperoni, sausage, ham, pineapple, a slew of vegetables, all topped with chees and baked to a gorgeous brown. The whole pizza weighed in at just over 14 pounds and contained an estimated 12,000 calories. The women of PRC have dubbed this monster pizza from Papa John's the "Rear Derailleur". Tom Donaldson, owner of the Papa John's franchise in Iowa thought the pizza was ordered to feed the entire team but was shocked to find that it fed only one.

While Shannon's ability to eat the entire pizza is an unimaginable feat, it is not nearly as shocking to the staff at Iowa State University and her teammates as her post meal weight. "That skinny #$%&@ lost weight!" said Shannon's PRC teammate, Sara Broek, "Can you believe it? She scarfs a 14 pound pizza and weighs less because of it? If I ate that thing it'd go straight to my butt. It makes me so jealous." Prior to eating the 14-pound monstrosity of cheesy goodness Shannon weighed in at 117 pounds. Immediately following the meal the scales read a mere 115. A loss of 2 pounds that can not be explained by anyone, including Shannon. "I don't know how it happens. I just eat whatever I want and my body handles the rest." Said Shannon following her meal. "It's like a magic portal opens up in my stomach. And that portal is hungry for Papa John's pizza." Experts are dumbfounded as to how Shannon is capable of eating such quantities without having any noticeably damaging effects. Ken Van Buren is the lead physician at the Department of Internal Digestion at Iowa State University. Van Buren studied Shannon under strict laboratory conditions as she digested the pizza. "I can't explain it." said Van Buren, "She's not bulimic. She didn't use the restroom. She's digesting normally. She's like the the damn Cookie Monster. But for, like, pizza. A pizza monster." Van Buren and the rest of the staff at ISU are calling Shannon's results inconclusive and an anomaly of astronomically awesome proportions. Van Buren went on to state, "If she could do this with beer too there's like 30 dudes at my frat who will marry her right now." Punk Rock Cycling is an all-women cycling team based in Des Moines, IA. The team is sponsored by the Elder Corporation, Papa John's Pizza, Rasmussen Bike Shop, Specialized, RBS Training Systems, Visionary Services, Chrome, and Oakley. You can learn more about these women and all they do at www.punkrockcycling.com. To order a delicious and savory pizza that will blow you mind, find the nearest Papa John's Restaurant by visiting their website at www.papajohns.com