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It's good to be Biker Man

  • Posted Aug 21, 2001

  • Your last name stays put.
  •  The garage is all yours.
  •  Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  •  Chocolate is just another snack.
  •  You can be president.
  •  You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  •  Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  •  You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
     The world is your urinal.
  •  You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just
    too "yucky".
  •  Same work... more pay.
  •  Wrinkles add character.
  •  Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
  •  People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  •  The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
  •  New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  •  Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything
    different?"
  •  One mood, ALL the damn time.
  •  Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  •  You know stuff about tanks.
  •  A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  •  You can open all your own jars.
  •  Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
  •  You can leave the motel bed unmade.
  •  You can kill your own food.
  •  You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  •  If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
    your friend.
  •  Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
  •  If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
  •  Everything on your face stays its original color.
  •  You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
  •  Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
  •  You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
  •  You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
  •  You don't mooch off other's desserts.
  •  You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
  •  You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
  •  You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
  •  You almost never have strap problems in public.
  •  You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
  •  The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
  •  You don't have to shave below your neck.
  •  Your belly usually hides your big hips.
  •  One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
  •  You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
  •  You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
  •  You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45
    minutes.

Damn it's good to be a Biker Man !

 
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