Slackers, Retirement, Dopers and What-Not...

Posted Apr 22, 2005
4,074

"SLACKER... YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED." ---> Scott Sumpter

"SLACKER... YOU'RE GOING TO GET FIRED." ---> Scott Sumpter

Yeah, I've been a sack of slack since April Fools. I worked hard and got a few compliments on the tome. Didn't want to put up anything else because it just wouldn't stand up to the scrutiny. (Thanks for the encouragement Fast Lane.)

Besides, I've been busy training and trying to figure out why anyone in their right mind would ever buy a Polar Power system. (If you look forward to reading this drivel, you are operating with the same brainpower as yours truly, so don't laugh.)

Damn thing keeps unplugging, going blank... basically making my life hell. I want 'analysis paralysis', but the little crap-job just ain't helping.

Last resort... if it doesn't work this weekend at Iowa City, it will be for sale on Monday. Hopefully it will work better for you.

"ARE YOU CRYING, YET? LANCE IS RETIRING"

My bro in-law emailed me the minute he got the Lance retirement news on SI.com ... like he wouldn't think that O-Dawg and I would schedule our lunch around the press conference at Court Ave Brew?

Alas, the pundits forecast a dark day for bike racing without Lance. What ever. So we're not going to be on the front page anymore... I can't tell you how hard I've tried to get press for our local bike races. No one cares. Best for us to just make sure that we put on the quality events, make people happy and are there to welcome new racer-dudes (and chicas, too).

As far as Lance 'giving up' without going after the Euro Classics? Been there, done that. I seem to recall he was a Classics Bruiser before cancer, and was transformed into a Grand Tour Champion. If we want to be fair... lessee Boonen winning the Tour in five years. Ain't going to happen.

"NOW I'M CRYING... TYLER IS A DOPER"

Dear Tyler,

Just say it ain't so.

Tell me that the 'Mr. Nice Guy' is for real and you're not a sick@ss doper filling full of go-fast juice.

I want to believe that Haven is the chick that you'd be proud to introduce your parents to.

I want to believe that Tugboat (rest his soul) was a great lovable pooch and the two new pups are flea and tick free.

I still believe that if I put a green hat on you, Tyler, you'd have a remarkable resemblance to a garden gnome. Just not a doper-gnome.

Respectfully Yours,

Godfather Marco

'WHATNOT'

Tour of Georgia::: My conspiracy theory continues to be that Tom Danielson is going to show his true stage race talent and rip up everyone tomorrow on the Brasstown Bald. Wait and see!

TRANS-IOWA::: I'm seriously impressed by the studs going out to do this event. I thought 'great idea - not for me' when I first read about it. My guess? Jim Cochran is going to decimate the enduro crowd, just like he has on the road for the past three years.

IOWA CITY WEEKEND::: The proverbial gauntlets have been thrown down and the racer-dudes are back at it this weekend. Look for some fast racing action and some verbal barbs (that would make your grandmother blush) thrown from the ISU squad.

TNWC::: Sad to say, but I haven't been to one yet and the world hasn't ended.